World falls down

I woke to the clock, it was five thirteen
it feels so far from where I've been.
I look around and check under the sheets
fleeting joy and then the energy depletes.
I see the bag and the clothes strewn around too
have the flowers, everything but you.
Broke the chocolates, made a smiling face
I hate it in this sordid place.
I stare and wish upon the spots on the mirror
that things weren't so and you'll walk through the door

Called my mom, she was out for a walk
comforted a cup of coffee but it didn't talk.
Looked through the paper, felt more bruised
more hearts being broken and people being used.
Sat at home in the pouring rain
saw a movie it brought back the pain.
Because it was happy and I was sad
It made me miss you so bad.

Picked up a light and then threw it down
I know you hate it when I make you frown.
Took the roses and stood in the rain
wasted your summer prayers in vain.
Picked your book up, thought I heard your sound
took a deep breath and a good look around.
Sleep walked the day till I moved to the bed
think I'm half alive but maybe I'm dead.
I cry and tell myself it'll be all right
maybe I should just think more of you tonight.

I'll go about my business, I wont do fine
I don't know what I'd say if I had you on line.
Same old story, not much to say
I've broken your heart almost every day.

And I sit in regret till the day is gone
for all the black things I have done.
The gods will have mercy, they are the blessed
as I squirm in the misery that I have wronged.
In dreams till my death I will wonder on
and wait for you there like a stone, alone.