"Where are all the Nice Guys?"

You must understand that I have spent the last week with far too many sisters and since then a couple of friends who seem to insist on popping the question with alarming regularity, so I thought I'd take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven't figured it out.

The answer is simple: The likes of you happened to them.

Let me take you back in time, you just might vaguely remember that platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd just stick around you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hear you out while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were with treated you.

All this time, you are quite definitely joking with the girlfriends about how he is such a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. Then they most definitely did the entire teasing routine because they know he has this crush on you, and it was their god given right to let the world know. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, what else could he be? He was totally not your type - a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or couldn't retaliate well enough to scathing jokes at his expense or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish friends at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, the platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with your new set of friend/ friends got more serious and spending time with him was a little chore that you endured. More time passed, and the rich, good looking friend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to them weren't the kinds of things that made for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried variations of the same chaps for several testing months and having only encountered players or the ones that start to bore in time, you wonder, "Where are all the nice guys?"

Well, once again..... Let me just pass on this one.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind at least . You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.

Fact is, now, he's probably that suave thing you were looking for, and in some way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. But yeah, change isn't easy and the nice guy tends to shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

Formerly The Nice Guy

(but I must say there is also the odd couple with those roles reversed... But then thats a wholly different rant and an actual peek in to my life)